Category Archives: Religion and Society

One-Fifth of Americans Do NOT think Obama is a Muslim.

Be serious. “Do you think President Obama is:

A. a Christian christian?”

B. a muslim Muslim?”

C. don’t know.”

Look, if the pollsters called me on the phone and asked that same question, I would have answered “B, Muslim” for the sheer fun of it.  President Obama’s got himself so tied up in the dizzy inanities of political correctness, it’s amazing he can even see the teleprompter.   His three most favorite activities are golf, grousing about Bush, and sucking up to those who dislike us.

The man just can’t stop himself from playing with our heads on this muslim thing.  It’s as if the man has some kind of weird oppositional tune whirling inside his head that keeps leaking out and snidely pestering us with a subliminal “but so what if I was a Muslim, huh, huh?”

Then again, let’s run through quick litany of some of the reasons why some folks might reach the wrong conclusion:

1.  His mom and grandparents who raised him were quite proud that they had no religion.  So the only religious background President Obama had was the Islam of his dreamed-of father, Barak Sr., and his temporary step-dad, Lolo Soetero.

2. The name “Barack Hussein Obama” is a muslim name.  Now in our western world that surely doesn’t mean he’s a muslim, but in the muslim world, it means exactly that.  The Pakistani press will gladly supply you with archived articles asserting his loyalty to the Prophet.  We probably shouldn’t expect the White House to correct every error in the Pakistani press.

3. So he comes into office, repeatedly speaking of the need for “outreach” to the Islamic nations, frequently invoking the Koran, which he prefers to call the “Huuly” Koran, whereas the Bible is not referred to as “Huuly.”  The Bible is the plain and mundane Bible,  nothing special there.  This unequal treatment, which is ubiquitous, ticks a lot of people off, and is so deeply imbedded in our culture that this stupid but widely used spell-checker I’m using at this very instant keeps telling me that “muslim” requires the honorific of a capital “M,” but that an honorific “C” for “christian” would be incorrect.

4. First big speech after inauguration?  Georgetown University, a catholic school, where the only place big enough to hold the honored guests is the chapel.  Yes, that chapel.  The one with that Jesus guy right there up in front.  Panicked by the thought of how it would scandalize the world to see President Obama with Jesus looking over his shoulder, the White House Messaging Battalion dispatches a detachment to the Walmart to buy up 30 sets of sheets (white sheets.  Oh, dear, is that a statement?).  Rushing back to the chapel, they successfully enshroud Jesus and his cross, narrowly avoiding igniting an international incident.

5. Two months later, Cairo and The Grand Pandering Address to the Muslim World.  There were no speeches to the Cc hristian, Jjewish, Bbuddhist, Aagnostic, Aatheist or any other of the Llesser Wworlds. Nor are any planned for the future.

6. “An Invite to the National Day of Prayer? Me?  You’re kidding.*  Uh, I’ve got a golf tee time, heh-heh. But thanks.”

7. December at the White House.   “Welcome to our Winter Holiday Party.  There ain’t no Jesus here, ’cause were like open, y’know.*  But we do have some images on our Seasonal Tree of penny-ante murderer Che and the All-Time Bloodiest Dictator, Mao. Way cool, huh?  The college kids like it.”

8. “Church? I haven’t been to church since I didn’t go to Reverend Wright’s church. Which is why I didn’t know nothin’ about the Best-Of-Reverend-Wright DVDs that the church proudly sold in the lobby and on the internet.   And when I said he was my mentor?  Y’know. I didn’t mean it like a mentor mentor.  Other than not attending there, I never did church.”

9.  “But did I tell you my girls were baptized at the Reverend’s church?  Yup, follow after their mom, that way.  Not me though, heh-heh.  I don’t do baptism.”

10.  He-hey, Let’s get that ReStart button from Hillary.  It’s Ramadan, Eid-al-Fitre.   Barack has got the hots so bad that even though there’s never been a Christmas observance* at his White House, this is important, so he breaks with established protocol, invites in a raft of muslims, the ones who are faithfully and dutifully silent about human rights violations in the middle east, and then mentions their holiday by name (imagine that!!).  And let’s get over the mosque thing.  Sure the landing gear of that 767 crashed through the roof where the want to build The Great American Mosque, and so did body parts.  But hey, muslims died that day too, you know.  In fact, those body parts might have been from Mohammed Atta himself.  Build it.  That way, they’ll know we’re way cool.  Or at least, that I’m way cool.

Muslim? No.

Lame? Very.

So on second thought, I’ll answer “B, muslim Muslim.” Just for the sheer fun of it.

*……In fairness…..the image folk have helped the President out this year with these issues, having him show up at the annual Prayer Breakfast and calling the December 25th holiday “Christmas.”


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Suiciding the Military.

Suicidal Slop from our Intrepid Reporters.

A spate of recent news stories have chronicled an uptick in the suicide rate among troops serving in the military.  That’s something we should be concerned about.  But the quality of the reports is another example of the anti-military bias of the press corps (or is it the “press corpse?”).

The numbers are indeed higher than would be expected from the general  population.  And that’s where the investigating and questioning ends.  The prejudices have been confirmed: See? The military is a horrible, corrosive, dehumanizing institution.  Stay away from it.”

Without boring you with tables of data, let’s clear up a few things.  In the general population,  males have suicide rates 4 to 5 times higher than those of females, and the military, especially the Army and the Marine Corps, is very heavily male.  Secondly, young people have a significantly higher rate than the general population, and the military, especially the Army, is young.  Furthermore, young people living away from home are more prone to suicide than their counterparts at or close to home, and all young soldiers end up living away from home.

In other words, crunch the numbers, all the numbers.  Soldiers are no more likely to commit suicide than male college freshmen living in the dorm.

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Marriage: Not So Gay.

The California Supreme Court in agony over Prop 8.

Oh the poor tortured California Supreme Court is suffering again.  They have to decide between The Constitution and Law on one hand, or The World As They Dream It on the other hand.

The poor things.  These Solomonic decisions are so blasted difficult.

As I understand it, the advocates of “same-sex marriage” pretty much seem to center their argument around a concept of “equality of recognition”.

But I’m stumped. I really don’t get that.

What do they think Marriage is, a sex license? A chance to have a rollicking party to make the special couple feel good about themselves?  An official government-sanctioned valentine?   Where have these guys spent the last 40 centuries?  At Gay Day in Disneyland?

Let’s step back.  What the heck is marriage, and why do we have it?  What is the historical meaning of the term?   Over time and in every civilization “Marriage” has been consistently defined as a special legal contract between a man and a woman.  But why?  Why do we have such a concept?  What is the ordinary and common understanding upon which “Marriage” has been constructed?

I can’t think of anything more ordinary and common than the 1976 edition of The World Book Encyclopedia which sits a-mouldering on a sagging shelf in my basement.  Smack in the middle lies the thickest volume, heavy with knowledge and wisdom, and simply entitled “M.”  It plainly reads:

“People everywhere feel that the regulations of marriage  are necessary to protect women and children and maintain the stability of the community.”

So there you have it.  The  purposes of marriage are:

— The protection of women,

–Which fosters the protection of children,

–Which, in turn,  fosters the stability of civilization.

Such protection is necessary because in the raw, natural, biological reality, men can, frankly, beat the crap out of women.  We’re bigger, stronger, and unfortunately, fond of getting our way.   And that cries out for some kind of corrective.  Study after study has shown that women living unmarried with male partners are more than twice as likely to be physically abused as women who are married.   To say nothing of psychological abuse backed by threat of violence, the tendency toward intimidation, or the cascading damage to children that flows from this biological inequality.

Thus we have the imperfect but nonetheless significant remedy called “Marriage”, in which the male of the species gets his selfish flamboyance snipped and undertakes certain legal obligations thereby imbibing the gentler ways of  civilization, though not usually to the extent of  learning proper tea party etiquette.

So how do Bob and Harry, standing bereft at the door of the church or city hall, pining for “their love to be recognized,” fit into all this?

The answer is, they don’t.  Marriage is only tangentially about a particular couple. It certainly isn’t about “being recognized.”  It’s about bigger things than me or you or him or her.    It’s about the way men and women relate to each other in a society that deserves the title “civilization.”  And for it to be about how men and women relate, there have to be men and women, or, to be perfectly direct, a man and a woman.

Then again….

Given the human male’s predilection for boorish and aggressive behavior, perhaps there is a need for some sort of institution to shape how men relate to one another.

But I don’t believe that institution should be called “Marriage.”

It would be better to call it what it is……. “Football.”

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